i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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