She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
