You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
