Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize