I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
