we're blogging at a bar
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Naked Twister starts at high noon
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
