Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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