pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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