man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
