Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
