i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
