i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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