All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
