is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
