My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
