If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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