Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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