my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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