Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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