dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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