i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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