everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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