did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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