Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
