just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize