I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize