The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize