His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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