i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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