Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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