Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
