I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
