My balls are so social today.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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