i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Barsexuality is the new black.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
