Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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