everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
