It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
