Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
