I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
