I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Someone came in the potted fern
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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