guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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