please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
