If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
