Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
