didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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