Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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