I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So squirting runs in the family.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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