I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize