I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Randomize
