# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
