this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
