do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm too high and old for this...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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