she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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