Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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