If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize