I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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