when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize