There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
