i just made my gag reflex go away.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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