His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
