I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
