vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
