their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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