Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
