if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Acid is not a monday night drug
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
