And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
