oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
