Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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