ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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