White coat. Heels.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
