Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
